If I were going to make fun of newly-confirmed Department of Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne Mullin for anything, it would be for his being too lazy to put a space between his first and middle names. This unwillingness to correct an obvious mistake on his birth certificate has sentenced the rest of us to years of typing out “Markwayne.”
Thanks for nothing … Mark.
But former comedian Jimmy Kimmel, being the insufferable, elitist, and basement-rated snob that he is, found it high-larious that our new DHS secretary once worked as a plumber.
Can’t imagine what Kimmel thinks about Lincoln splitting logs, or Truman selling suits, or Reagan working as a lifeguard, or Kamala never working at McDonald’s.
Kimmel is such a dick:
“Before he was elected to the Senate, Markwayne Mullin was a plumber,” Kimmel smirked. “That’s right. We have a plumber protecting us from terrorism now.”
I’m gonna go back to an age-old refrain of mine that bears repeating every now and again. This is actually a paragraph from my first and last novel, which you cheapskates should buy, preferably in hardcover, because I make more money on the hardcover…
If there was one thing Mason couldn’t get over about this society, it was how the All at Once [modern America] made it possible for the most useless people in the world to scrape off all the cream. He knew that if you built yourself a pile of everyone you see on your TV, they wouldn’t add up to the worth of a single plumber, farmer, or coal miner. But if you swept the table clear of those TV people, the world would keep turning just fine, maybe better.
And I put myself on the wrong side of that equation. Like Jimmy Kimmel and Sean Penn and CNN and Stephen King and Steven Spielberg, and all the rest, if we all stopped writing and directing and performing and pontificating, sure you’d maybe miss us … for a week or two. But civilization would continue on just fine. Poetry, music, hot takes, and storytelling add to our lives, but they are not necessary.
Let’s see how long civilization lasts without plumbers.
Two weeks? Two months?
Without road crews, truck drivers, farmers, electricians, the guys who climb electric towers, fish the seas, pick up our garbage, dig out the energy, drop the trees, and spray for bugs, we are doomed.
Here’s something else about Kimmel…
Even in the realm of show business, Jimmy Kimmel is Kleenex — totally disposable. Nothing he has done lasts past the next day. No one will watch reruns of his Late Night show. It’s no fun. No one will watch reruns of his monologues. They seek applause, not laughter. He’s created no art, nothing lasting, and no legacy beyond being a sellout, a cuck, a good dog for the worst people in the world.
Read the full article here