Dumb people are crowing over the fact that Byron Allen’s Comics Unleashed drew only 878,000 viewers, which is less than the 2.15 million his oh-so sacred predecessor, Stephen Colbert, drew on average.
Welcome to today’s episode of Retards Who Don’t Understand Business.
Before we get to the specifics, allow me to use an example to try to explain basic economics. Okay, let’s say you and your neighbor open competing restaurants…
You spend $1.50 to make a hamburger, and you sell 50 of those burgers for $2.50 a piece.
Are you dumb people still with me? This is about to get tricky…
Your neighbor spends $100 to make a hamburger and sells 100,000 of them for $99 a piece.
Okay, dumb people… Who’s the better businessman?
Ready for this…?
CBS lost $40 million per year to produce The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, which attracted around 2.1 million viewers.
CBS is profiting $15 million per year to air Comics Unleashed, which attracted 878,000 in its debut.
Which is the better business decision? Losing $40 million per year, or profiting $15 million per year?
Are you still with me? This is about to get even more complicated…
After buying Colbert’s former timeslot from CBS, Byron Allen will keep the proceeds from whatever advertising he sells. This means that whatever money he takes in above the $15 million license fee and the costs involved to produce Comics Unleashed (which must be a pittance) is pure profit.
“We’re proud to partner with Byron Allen on a new business and programming model for late night that… was cost-prohibitive to continue,” a statement from CBS read. “With this ‘time buy’ model, we have shifted an hour that was losing roughly $40 million annually to $15 million in profit — a $55 million swing.”
For those of you unfamiliar with his story, look up Byron Allen. This guy went from being a stand-up comedian to co-hosting a 1970’s reality show called Real People to becoming a successful enough media and real estate mogul that he just spent $100 million on a home in Malibu. According to the legend, because Real People was produced by NBC, Allen would wander onto the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson set, and if no one was there, he would sit at Carson’s desk and pretend to host.
Last week, he purchased an entire Late Show timeslot from a major broadcast network.
So what we have here is this…
Last week, a rich, white guy named Stephen Colbert required $40 million in affirmative action from CBS to remain on the air.
This week, a self-made black billionaire named Byron Allen is paying his own way for the same time slot.
Is this a great country, or what?
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