No one watches the insufferable John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight. His ratings are a joke, and you never see clips from his dumb show gain any traction on social media. Nevertheless, Oliver is still attacking Jay Leno for daring to suggest that comedians might want to broaden their appeal beyond neurotic, dried-up, middle-aged white women who hate Trump.

The only thing funny about Oliver is his ratings. Look at this… He makes Jon Stewart look, well, popular. In the most recent survey, he attracted an audience of 241,000. I’m sure he gains a little traction through repeats and streaming, but it’s pretty obvious that, like Stephen Colbert, Oliver benefits from HBO’s left-wing affirmative action.

Being a toadie for the state sure has its upside. You lose your soul, but you remain on the air for 12 seasons and win dozens of Emmys for saying exactly what you’re expected to say. He operates exclusively inside an insular bubble. I can’t remember the last time something he said went viral. He’s a nothing, a nobody, a butt-smooching court jester for the one-percent…

Here’s what he said about Leno to a sycophantic, left-wing Hollywood Reporter:

HOLLYWOOD REPORTER: Late night used to be broad, unifying entertainment. I know Jay Leno recently spoke on this topic, about making a show for everyone …

THE INSUFFERABLE JOHN OLIVER: I’m going to take a hard pass on taking comedic advice from Jay Leno.

THR: Fair enough, but should these shows still try to be for everyone, or is that as antiquated as the tanning bed?

SMUG JACKASS: Who thinks that way? Executives? Comedy can’t be for everyone. It’s inherently subjective. So, yeah, when you do stand-up, some people try to play to a broader audience, which is completely legitimate. Others decide not to, which is equally legitimate. I guess I don’t think it’s a question of what you should do because I don’t think comedy is prescriptive in that way. It’s just what people want. I think our show clearly comes from a point of view, but most of those long stories we do are not party political. They’re about systemic issues. Our last few shows were about gang databases, AI slop, juvenile justice, med spas, air traffic control. I’m not saying that these don’t have a point of view in them. Of course they do. But I hope a lot of them actually reach across people’s political persuasions. You want people to at least be able to agree on the problem, even if you disagree on what the solution to it is.

Get a load of this guy…

The reason no one without an NPR totebag finds John Oliver funny is because he isn’t funny. He isn’t aiming for laughs. He’s aiming for applause from people who already agree with him. He isn’t trying to make you think (which all the great comedians do), he’s telling you what to think.

Oliver serves the agenda of a fascist state.

Jay Leno served the desire of millions of Americans looking to unwind from a hectic day.

Oliver laughs at us.

Jay Leno was capable of making us laugh at ourselves.

Oliver hectors, lectures, demeans, and smugly preens over everyone.

Jay Leno made fun of everyone, including himself.

I rarely agreed with some of our most topical comedians: Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Dennis Miller, Bill Maher, Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock… But they are/were all truly funny. And they frequently surprised us with what they had to say. That’s what made them so interesting. Best of all, they make us think, and sometimes they force us to think. That’s what makes their work timeless.

John Oliver is not timeless. He’s timely. His work has about a ten-day shelf life. He’s just another angry and bitter dick shaming anyone who doesn’t behave, vote, think, and speak in the way he demands.

When John Oliver leaves the air, no one will notice he’s gone.

No one will ever wonder, What would John Oliver have said about this?

We won’t have to wonder what John Oliver would say. We’ll already know the answer: John Oliver would say whatever the fascist state told him to say.

John Nolte’s first and last novel, Borrowed Time, is winning five-star raves from everyday readers. You can read an excerpt here and an in-depth review here. Also available in hardcover and on Kindle and Audiobook

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