Christie Kainz, a 33-year-old behavioral therapist, has yet to successfully pick up the tab for her parents.
The last time Kainz attempted to pay — she covertly slipped the server a credit card — she woke up the next morning to find the money had been transferred back into her bank account, along with a few extra bucks for gas.
“When the check came and my stepdad realized what I had done, he looked at me like, ‘Please don’t disrespect me like that,’” Kainz, who lives in Riverside, California, tells TODAY.com. “He takes a lot of pride in being able to treat me. So I’ve stopped trying.”
In a recent Instagram post, Kainz poked fun of the situation. In the video, she is finishing her meal when a waiter asks the table if they will be needing separate checks.
“Me a full grown adult with my own money waiting to see what my parents will say when asked about the bill…” Kainz captioned her post.
“If she has a job, she should be buying her parents dinner,” one person wrote in the comments.
Other reactions included:
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“You shouldn’t be bragging about this.
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“I love fighting my married son for the check when they visit.”
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“My family will get one bill and then we’ll each get a message later saying how much we owe.”
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“I pay for my parents. They raised me, they are getting spoiled every chance I can.”
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“The goal is to pay for your parents not them pay for you.”
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“My grown daughter doesn’t let me touch the check.”
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“I am the parent that takes great pride in being able to treat my grown kids to a night out. If they think enough to spend time with me, I don’t want it to cost them anything but time…”
When 33-year-old Christie Kainz (center) dines out with her parents, her stepfather insists on paying the check.
Etiquette expert Elaine Swann was happy to provide her two cents.
“My recommendation is for the adult child to treat the parents if they are able to,” Swann, founder of The Swann School of Protocol, tells TODAY. “It is a kind gesture for that adult child to take care of their parents.”
But Swann notes that some parents, like Kainz’s, take joy in footing the bill, and if that’s the case, you don’t want to take that away from them.
“It can bring back some of the nostalgia of when their adult child was a kid,” Swann says. “The bottom line is that it really depends on the circumstances for both parties. There’s no hard or fast rule that says one must do something for the other.”
This article was originally published on TODAY.com
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