Watch: Comedian Chelsea Handler Bashes Marriage as ‘Outdated,’ Says ‘You’re Kind of Property a Little Bit’

Comedian and Democrat activist Chelsea Handler bashed marriage as “outdated” and “a really silly idea,” adding that she prioritizes “freedom” above all else. “You’re kind of, like, property a little bit,” the 51-year-old said of marriage.

“I’ve never been very thirsty for a man or a partner,” Handler said during a recent appearance on the Angie Martinez IRL podcast. “You’ve got to really kind of get my attention for me to pay attention in a serious way, because otherwise it’s a bunch of casual encounters.”

Chelsea Handler went on to say that she “likes” these casual encounters.

“I like that. I like traveling a lot. I like hooking up with guys. I don’t like to get too serious. I don’t want someone in my space all the time. I just am not interested in that,” she said.

“My whole vibe is about freedom. I want freedom,” Handler added, before asking Angie Martinez if she has any children, to which the podcast host replied, “I do, but they’re older.”

To that, Handler implied that Martinez is now free because she has adult kids, stating, “They’re cooked. Done. Freedom,” which may suggest that she herself perhaps would have enjoyed having children, so long as she didn’t have to put in the work raising them during the earlier years of their lives.

“I love the idea that I don’t have to check in with anybody about anything I do,” the comedian said. “I don’t have to consider or consult with anyone.”

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Handler went on to convey that taking random trips to Europe is much more important than allowing her own genome to continue on after she is one day gone.

“If I want to get on a plane and go to Paris, which I will do on in a moment’s notice, I will go to Majorca for a month and fuck off by myself,” the Chelsea Lately host said.

After being asked if she “believes in [having] somebody to grow old with,” Handler replied by insinuating that she would like to keep herself available to the planet’s more than eight billion people.

“Yeah, sure, but there’s eight million of us,” she said, appearing to accidentally say “million” instead of “billion.”

“You can’t think of yourself as like, ‘Oh, I’m alone.’ You have to think of yourself as like, ‘I’m free. I’m free now to make every decision I want for myself,’” Handler added. “You can do everything you want. You’re going to have a really good time.”

Elsewhere in the conversation, Handler told Martinez that she is currently in a relationship with a “much younger” man she has dubbed “Cowboy,” who she met after sitting next to him at a blackjack table in Las Vegas and asking him to borrow $1,000.

Despite hitting it off with Cowboy, the comedian still insists marriage is “not something I attain to do,” calling it an “outdated” and “silly” tradition.

“I just think marriage is so outdated. It’s just a really silly idea,” Handler said, adding that she believes it would be “really hypocritical” for her to get married now, after having “bemoaned marriage my whole entire public life.”

“Which means I’ll probably do it,” Handler added of marriage. “At some point, I might just go, ‘Okay, fuck it. I’m 50 years old, so I might as well just go get married. What could go wrong at this point?’”

“But I don’t care about marriage,” she added. “I feel like that’s a very patriarchal thing anyway. You’re kind of, like, property a little bit.”

In 2024, Handler claimed she is a “threat” to “straight men” because she has consciously made the decision to spend her life as a “child-free” and “single” woman. In 2019, she joked about having two abortions after being twice impregnated by her “first black boyfriend.”