When will Hollywood get the message that even woketards won’t pay to see woketard movies like The Bride!?
Left-wing Hollywood has spent the last ten years slipping woketardery into every imaginable genre, including Pixar cartoons aimed at queering kids and massively popular franchises aimed at feminizing everything, and it all flops.
The Bride! was openly advertised as a man-hating feminist piece of woketardery, and even then no woketards came. And do you want to know why? Because the liberal white women who make up most of the Woke Brigade care only about themselves. The furthest thing from their minds is helping a sister out — the sister in this case being writer and director Maggie Gyllenhaal.
Why would the woke brigade help Maggie Gyllenhaal achieve a triumphant (or at least a not-humiliating) opening weekend when they have too much self-care planned: hot yoga and Häagen-Dazs and social media influencing and appletinis and a bottle wine in a hot bath and that battery-operated thing that doesn’t mansplain or manspread.…
Between production and promotion, Warner Bros. spent around $180 million on The Bride! The result was an opening weekend so catastrophic that the movie will enter the pantheon of iconic flops like Battlefield Earth and Howard the Duck. Domestically, despite a wide release on 3,304 screens, The Bride! divebombed at a pathetic $7.26 million. The overseas gross was even more humiliating, a mere $6.3 million for a worldwide haul of $13.6 million.
How bad is that $13.6 million global take? A mere five days ago, the “experts” told us The Bride! would make $40 million worldwide. Now they’re telling us the movie could lose $90 million. Oddly enough, though, in their “expert” analysis of why the movie flopped, none of them can bring themselves to tell the truth about how off-putting woke misandry is at the box office…
Lame-ass excuse one: “Period horror is hard as it never fully persuades the horror audience in full, nor sophisticated moviegoers.”
Yes, except for Nosferatu (2024), The First Omen (2024), the four Conjuring movies, The Woman in Black — oh, and a littler sleeper called Sinners.
Lame-ass excuse two: “Also leaving The Bride! more bruised was its arrival post-Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein.”
Good grief — del Toro’s Frankenstein was a TV movie for Netflix. Regardless, in a movie universe where superhero movies can come out every other week and make money, we’re supposed to believe audiences can’t handle two very different Frankenstein movies released months and months apart? Especially when one is a TV movie?
Given the choice between making complete fools of themselves by misinforming their readers or admitting the truth, which is that woke holds no appeal to anyone (including the woke), the entertainment media prefer to look like fools.
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